Huh.

You know, it really isn't so bad.

I went to the gym and then dinner/poker last night, had a couple extra drinks, played a great game (lost, but it is still a great game). I told various people that I hadn't got the position and it wasn't as bad as I imagined. I laughed a bunch at poker. In fact, I was in a better mood than I was last week, when my experiment failed.

Yesterday my goal was to not cry at work. I never have and I never plan to. So I succeeded. A couple of my labmates were nice to me in exactly the right way and just spent a little bit extra time with me that day (lunch and chatting over tea), but didn't bring it up or be all mushy. It's nice to know that people care and that they know me well enough to care in the right way (or maybe they are just guys and I respond better to guy like sympathy).

Plus you guys, of course. I'm more open here about a lot of things than I am in the real world and I appreciate the forum.

The head of the chem department pulled Mr Bob aside and outlined some of the other positions they would like me for (a permanent research position in a year or so at a new institute (pending funding) and they are wrangling a post-doc/teaching position in the interm. I also have my current job to come back to and (it won't happen, but was nice to hear) NASA has also made an offer of a job offer (we would like to hire you, but know you don't wish to move to Florida kinda offer).

I really thought my utter misery would last a little longer than 24 hours.