Please tell me Mr Bob is insane
Slightly serious post.
Yesterday we out at the bar celebrating one of Mr Bob's labmates last day in the lab. He is off to a real job. Yeah him!
About three weeks we heard that the guy's wife is pregnant (double yeah!). Last night was the first time I had seen him and I wanted to offer my congratulations. Before I did, I just wanted to double check that everything was still Ok with the baby. So I asked Mr Bob about it. He said everything was fine, but he hadn't congratulated the guy himself. The reason?
"He never told me directly"
Is that the stupidest thing you've ever heard? Mr Bob has fairly strong sense of privacy and strong belief that other people can live however they choose. But this is almost freaky.
I figure there are some things you don't need to wait to be told before you offer congrats. New Babies, Weddings, etc.. They are commen knowledge.
Anyhow, I congratulated the guy, told him how happy I was for him and his wife and how wonderful it was and that I was sure it was a very important 5 minutes effort he put into the whole deal. He was very happy, told me how much he appreciated me saying that and that it was a great 30 seconds and they are having the ultrasound on Valentine's Day. He was a little gushy (he was also a little drunk).
From my point of view, not congratulating someone on something like a pregnancy (wanted and announced) is almost hostile.
Am I overreacting? Is this just a guy thing? I haven't mentioned this to Mr Bob, as I wouldn't bring up something touchy if we'd been drinking.
MTW better answer this one (being the token heterosexual guy in blogland)
posted by Aislinn Sirk @ 9:28 AM
15 Comments:
Typical guy. But to be fair I am sure the guy in question does not really mind.
What is a real job for a scientist? I thought what you do is real? Is he off to be on a reality show?
Bob-backwards and forwards it is still Bob.
Men are idiots.
I do think it's a little odd.
Mind you, my DH is the complete opposite. I have to watch what I tell him because he's likely to spill it out whenever he runs into people.
Zombs: A real job means a permanent job at 2-4 times our current salary and half the hours.
Swami: Insightful and to the point.
I think the daddy-to-be maybe felt awkward telling his male friends/coworkers about it. I think Chris might feel the same way. It's not one of those things babyless guys just sit around & talk about. If it were a group of guys that had children already & he was the first, he might find it easier/exciting/fun to bring it up to them. So maybe Mr. Bob felt that awkwardness, too. They need women around to break that ice.
Just my assumption. Could be totally wrong.
This guy doesn't seem awkward. He seems thrilled. He's a super friendly, chatty, open guy.
And, for something like this, once you tell 3 people, everyone should know, right? (There's about 30 people in the lab).
Though you are right that he is one of the first to have kids.
Mr. Bob is insane.
Oh. You were talking about one specific incident.
*reads post*
Mr. Bob is just weird.
I just got an idea for another Bob Files story.
Eh, I wouldn't worry so much about it. Guys don't overanalyze as much as women, so I doubt the dad-to-be even thought twice about it. If he had personally told Mr. Bob, and Mr. Bob hadn't congratulated him, that's one thing, but he didn't, so I think there's nothing to worry about.
LOL.
*trying to remember when my DW was pregnant*
*thinking how I felt*
*thinking of coworkers with pregnant wives*
OK. My official guy answer is that it's no big deal. I would not have known or cared who had/hadn't offered me congrats. Still, I would have appreciated any congratulations, regardless of whether I had told them directly.
I would be annoyed to think I had to tell *everyone* directly about personal life things like that. I would prefer the "grapevine" take care of it so I didn't have to go yakking about it with everybody.
I don't often bring up personal things without having been notified directly, unless, it's clearly out in the open and common knowledge, especially if the coworker is female (might be different with male coworkers).
I won't tell a pregnant female coworker congratuations until they have announced it officially, or until they are VERY clearly six months pregnant or more. Hope that helps. :-)
MTW <--has never been the token anything before. Kinda cool!
*rolls eyes*
Men can be such thick headed goobers sometimes. And now that you've congratulated the guy, Mr Bob will feel he doesn't have to because you did it for you (as a couple).
HEY! It's not just men! My SIL (the one I wrote about in my blog) has pulled the same kind of crap with other family members (I know this because I used to be privy to her complaints). As far as she was concerned, if the particular party whose news it was did not tell her directly, she was going to pretend she didn't know about it!
Just another way the megabitch is soooo manipulative!
You may recall I mentioned my one nephew is getting divorced while his brother is getting married? Yup! Nobody told *me* he was getting divorced! Turn about is fair play, right?
Mr Bob is insane. Happy now?
Not really, he's just being a guy.
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